Stop Doing and Start Being: Your New Path to Sustainable Goals
January is often a time for reflection on the past year and excited anticipation when looking ahead to this upcoming new one. For many, this means creating a list of New Year’s Resolutions—goals centered around doing or accomplishing something. Maybe it’s saving a certain amount of money, securing a new job, taking a dream vacation, or competing in a race.
While aiming to accomplish something is admirable, the challenge arises when we inevitably fall short. For some, this feels like a failure, leading to discouragement and throwing in the towel early in the year.
This year, I'm encouraging you to shift your focus: from accomplishing something to being the person you want to be.The Power of Being
Instead of defining your year by an external achievement, ask yourself: In this year, how can I BE the person I want to be?
This is where your inner qualities and values come into play. Your values are the fundamental beliefs that guide your actions and choices—they are who you are at your core (e.g., Integrity, Compassion, Creativity, Discipline). Your qualities are the characteristics you embody (e.g., Patient, Resilient, Generous, Organized).
When you commit to living in alignment with your values and cultivating desirable qualities, you lay a profound foundation for fulfillment.
Focusing on a quality like patience makes you a better parent, colleague, and driver, which brings daily calm—a deeper fulfillment than simply crossing an item off a checklist.
Embodying the value of integrity ensures that your actions are consistent with your moral code, which builds deep self-respect and peace.
Identify your core values and qualities:
The concept of living by your values sounds great, but how do you actually identity your core values???
Here are 3 simple exercises you can do to identity your values:
Reflect on 2 or 3 moments in your life when you felt most fulfilled, energized or proud of yourself. What did those moments say about you? For example: “To finish my 1st triathlon I was dedicated, committed and willing to push through hard things”
Think of somebody you admire. What is it about that person that you admire? Those are qualities you may want to emulate. For example: I admire a family friend who was one of the 1st female US military pilots. The qualities I admire are service to others, and no perseverance in challenging situations, to not allow society and culture to dictate what she can do.
Imagine you are retiring or moving to a new location. When you have your going away party, what 3 or 4 words do you want people to say about you? For example, I hope people say I am adventurous, kind, and intelligent.
Using those 3 exercises I see some of my values and qualities I want to embody are: dedication, commitment, service to others, belief in myself, adventure, kindness and intelligence. That is not a comprehensive list, but it sure is a great start.
Once you have your top 3-5 core values/qualities, write them down. They will be your compass. When you have a choice, ask yourself, “which path is more aligned with my core values?”
The Path to Doing
The beautiful paradox of this shift is that focusing on "being" is the most sustainable path to "doing." When your actions are driven by your core identity, they feel less like a chore and more like a natural expression of who you are.
If your goal is to save money (doing), you might struggle with restriction. But if you are being a disciplined and responsible person (qualities), the doing—budgeting, reducing spending—becomes an organic and rewarding part of your life.
If your goal is to get a new job (doing), the process can be draining. But if you are being a courageous and proactive person (qualities), you naturally send out more applications and network with a positive spirit, making the ultimate doing (getting the job) a much smoother journey.
If your goal is to compete in a race (doing), the process may be daunting and overwhelming with a the payoff several months away. But if you are being a resilient and committed person (qualities), you will find the daily structure and perseverance rewarding, turning a daunting goal into a series of achievable steps and making the ultimate doing (competing in the race) a much smoother journey.
This alignment—where your being dictates your doing—creates a cycle that replaces the stress of constant striving with the enduring peace of integrity and self-respect. This year, the truest resolution is to commit not just to an action, but to an identity. Don't just do more; be more, and watch your life's greatest goals unfold.
