Redefining Endurance: A Shift from Performance to Purpose
I am an Ironman (I have the tattoo to prove it). I am also a social worker, a wife, a scuba diver, a gravel cyclist, a cat owner, an aunt, a daughter, a therapist…... Like all of us, I am many things. Back in the early and mid 2010s the triathlon lifestyle defined me. Long hours, intense training, strong focus on the goal of finishing yet another Ironman.
Now, those days are long gone. Everything came crashing down in 2016. Overtraining and underfueling led to not being able to train or race. After a few years struggling after losing triathlon I found something new: gravel riding and a new focus of the experience not the outcome.
Back in the days of Ironman and other triathlons I raced. I pushed myself hard, I signed up for events with the hope of being in the top 25% of my age group. For shorter races I hoped for a podium. I ended up on a few. I won my age group in a couple of sprint tris. Now I do gravel races. My goal is to finish a race that I start. Not so secretly, I would love to podium, but in reality ending up on a podium is more about who else shows up, it's not just about my performance.
Now, I love going to events for the community and the experience. For me, the race isn’t about racing, it’s about challenging myself, enjoying the day, and being part of the larger community.
Recently a memory popped up on FaceBook from when I did Ironman Lake Placid in 2014. I was probably in the best shape of my life. I had a good race. Like all of the athletes out there I had to face many challenges during the day, the most difficult being the biblical thunderstorms that rolled through in the morning. The storms led to the decision to pull the swimmers out of the water before they completed the loop of Mirror Lake. I was one of the lucky ones, I completed both loops of the swim before heading out on my bike into thunder, lightning, and rain that stung as it hit us. I was determined to finish that race. Thankfully the skies did clear, the storms passed and the day got better.
That FaceBook memory popped up the weekend after I participated in the Dirty Kitten gravel event. What a contrast! At IMLP the experience was intense, competitive! At Dirty Kitten, some riders were racing, but overall the feeling was one of community and celebration. For many the day was not only about riding or racing, it was about belonging. Both days were special. I am glad I have had both experiences.
My mindset has changed from IMLP to Dirty Kitten. The old me: competitive and intense. The new me: embracing community, training for enjoyment, and a desire to celebrate and support the athletes around me. I volunteered at IMLP the year before so I could get access to early entry (this was back when IMLP sold out). At Dirty Kitten I volunteered because I love the community that Alex and Chris have created at that event. I volunteered because I wanted to be part of something bigger than myself. I volunteered because I wanted to support the athletes who were pushing and challenging themselves. I wanted to be a friendly face for the 1st time gravel racer. I wanted to be there for the rider who pushed themself to their absolute limit. I wanted to be there for the athletes who had to make the difficult decision to end their day early. I wanted to be there for every athlete who showed up to try something hard.
As I get older, as my capabilities and my goals change I still can have fun. I can still challenge myself. Now the focus is not just seeing how fast I can go, but how many people I can meet and how can I be a support for those around me. Dirty Kitten is an event that focuses on community. The race directors have intentionally put community at the center of what they do. They want everybody to be included. They are special not because this event welcomes everybody, they are special because they invite everybody. They create space for everybody, not just the skinny white men in lycra that fill the start lines of most races. They invite clubs like Melanin Base Miles, they invite people from the LGBTQ community, they ensure that the transgender community is safe and welcome at their event. They have space at the start line for the elite racers, and the people who are showing up for the 1st time. There is space for the rider with the $10,000 bike, and the rider with a bike from Walmart.
As my motivation, skills and capabilities change, my goals also evolve. My goals are now to stay involved, to support and encourage others, and to support races and events that invite those who have not historically been invited. I want to support races and events that create safe places for my community and other communities that may have not always been welcome or represented at endurance events. Let me know in the comments below, or email me. What events do you support? How do you stay involved in events even if you are no longer racing.
